I’ve started this post so many times and each time
I get overwhelmed as I look at the pictures and imagine Lexy’s family trying to
put together the pieces of their lives without her in it. I think about them every single day and
feel so heartbroken for her family.
I don’t think I will ever
forget the events of the evening of Saturday, September 24. Justin and I were just getting into bed
and I saw that two of my nieces, Kaitlyn and Ashley had posted on Facebook that
their sister Lexy was missing.
They pleaded for any news and explained that Lexy had been hiking Adams
Canyon that evening and that her car was still there. I reached out to my family for any news and prayed she was
safe.
My brother, Tyrone was at
the canyon with Lexy’s mom, Lindsey and my younger brother Raymond joined them
as the search and rescue teams searched the mountain on foot and by helicopter for
any signs of Lexy. Tyrone had
immediately started searching for her when he arrived and saw that her car was
still there, but as it got too dark the search and rescue teams needed him to
wait at the base. I can’t even
imagine what that must have been like to wait helplessly for news on your child.
Just before midnight I got
the text I’d feared. I’ll never
forget the devastation reading “They Found Her – At The Bottom Of The Waterfall
– Deceased.” Just moments later my
Mom called to make sure I’d gotten word.
So, so heartbreaking. Raymond
also called and was able to fill me in and share how Tyrone and Lindsey were
doing. The three of them went back
to Mary’s house together to break the news to Kaitlyn and Ashley – by now it
was around 2am in Utah.
I slept so very little that
night and kept checking social media for any and all updates and posts. I sent a text to Tyrone expressing my
love to him and his family. I felt
so incredibly helpless and crushed.
Morning arrived and we
shared the news with the kids.
They had so many questions and I had so few answers. I was supposed to lead the music in
sacrament, but knew I couldn’t stand up there and keep any degree of composure
so I found someone to do it for me.
The opening song that morning was so fitting “I Need Thee Every Hour”
(which was also sung at her funeral) – I was so emotional through my
meetings. Our lesson in RS was on
adversity and why we face pain and trials in our lives. I texted Kaitlyn and shared a little of
what we said and let her know I was thinking of her. Those three girls are the best of friends – they’ve had so
many trials in their lives, but the three of them have always had each other to
rely on. I can’t imagine what it
must feel like to lose your best friend and sister at such a young age.
Tyrone wrote a beautiful
obituary for Lexy:
Lexy
returned to her home on September 24, 2016 during a hike she frequently took,
in a place she loved and reached the top of the peak she set-out to
scale. It was determined that she slipped at a cliff upon her
descent. We are comforted to know that her untimely passing was quick and
painless. She was fortunate enough to pass this life in a place that gave
her the peace which often eluded her mind. We also find solace in the
gifts of the progressive pictures she shared of her adventures along the
way.
Lexy’s
beauty was only outweighed by her courage, determination, and endless will to
overcome her struggles. Relentless in her pursuit to will herself past
limitations placed upon her by others who didn’t understand her strength, she
achieved near perfection in this life.
Each one
of us who had even the briefest encounter with Lexy has been blessed to have
had such a sweet, loving angel in his/ her life. We will forever be
indebted to her for showing us how to fight through adversity with unwavering
dignity.
Lexy
“Poot” loved her life, the world around her, and the wonders and beauty within
it. She looked at common things with the eyes of a child and shared it
with all of us. She was adept at voice impressions and movie
quotes. She was a graduate of Northridge High where she was a U-Knight
leader, a part of Pro Start, theater and choir. She loved singing and loved to
harmonize with her sisters. Her sense of humor was unmatched and
had a smile that beamed through the darkest of times. Star Wars and
reading was a big part of her life. She was looking forward to attending
college and seeing the world.
Poot is
survived by the ‘original trio of sisters’, Kaitlyn and Ashley Hipwell.
Her siblings Ellie Beckwith, Brooklynn and Kingston Hipwell, Josh and Ashley
Kate Beckwith became part of an unbreakable bond with her. Her perfectly
loving parents are Tyrone Hipwell and Lindsey Beckwith – with Mary Hipwell as
an unbelievable and irreplaceable mother. Grandparents Pat and Carla
Lewis and Grandma Joyce Kesler and John and Sydney Grubb. She has many
cousins, aunts and uncles and an incredible circle of friends.
The family would like to share their loving gratitude to the
search and rescue teams, the helicopter crews and peace officers who
professionally and lovingly took care of Lexy on her return back from the
mountain and for their support to the awaiting family.
There wasn’t any question whether I’d go down to
Utah for the funeral. However, it
was more difficult to decide if we should take the whole family. Justin was smack in the middle of the
busiest time of the year at work.
The kids also had lots of activities going on – including a traveling
tournament for Abigail’s volleyball team.
I knew it would be good and healthy for them to attend the funeral, but
I also worried it would be harder for me to be there if I had to deal with the
logistics of having five kiddos in tow.
I wanted to be there as a daughter and a sister and not have to deal
with the mom role. In the end we
decided we’d all drive down on Thursday – be there for the viewing on Friday
and the funeral on Saturday – then drive home on Sunday. Quickest trip to Utah ever and under
the worst circumstances.
We arrived at my Mom’s late on Thursday
evening. We’d stopped at Maddox
for take out in Brigham City on the way so we could enjoy a yummy meal before
crashing for the night. We’d also
picked up a large fresh peach pie to enjoy later that weekend. The drive had gone really well, but 13
hours in the car is a long haul.
I’d brought an old Raffi CD to listen to on the way down. Back when the girls were little I never
listened to the radio in the car - it was only children’s music or primary
music. Long gone are those radio-free
days, but Raffi was a fun throwback to sing along to. The girls got a little restless as Abigail tried to stretch
out for a bit.
We did a lot of running around on Friday, including
meeting up with my Mom and Val at Zupas for lunch. The viewing on Friday night was at the funeral home in
Layton. I rode up with my Mom and
Val and Justin brought up the kids separately.
Lexy had shared several pictures with her family of
her hike that day via snapchat. A
few were printed and displayed at the viewing.
This young man drew this picture for Ashley. Lexy loved panda bears and the Sisters
picture at the top was taken just three months earlier when they visited us in
Seattle.
It was an solemn evening. So many friends and family members came to offer their love
and support. Several of my Mom and
Dad’s sisters came, many cousins we hadn’t seen in years. It was often said throughout the night how
great it was to catch up with each other though so unfortunate that it be under
such tragic circumstances. I’m
sure that’s how many funerals feel.
Like a bittersweet family reunion of sorts. It really was great to see so many relatives and I
particularly enjoyed visiting extensively with my Dad’s sisters Cleone and
Elaine who I hadn’t seen since perhaps my wedding. It was also so, so great to visit with the exes of our
family. We have just a few in our
family :) I loved catching up with them, but also seeing the love and compassion they
still have for our family and for sweet Lexy. I’ve found it so hard to have these sister(s)-in-laws and
brother(s)-in-laws that have been such a huge part of our extended family and family
memories and then because of divorce all contact typically seems to become
taboo. I was grateful to be able
to give them a hug and spend a few moments with them.
There was also a viewing before the funeral at
girls’ church building in Layton on Saturday morning. Again I drove up with my Mom and Val and Justin came up a
little later. Knowing these were
the last moments the family would have with Lexy made it even more heartbreaking. How does a mother or father say
good-bye to their child?
The funeral was beautiful. Lexy’s Grandpa (on her Mom Lindsey’s
side) spoke as well as Kaitlyn.
Both were wonderful tributes to Lexy, but I was particularly impressed
by Kaitlyn. Lexy is her best
friend. Her words were touching,
hilarious, and displayed so clearly the love she has for her sister and the
faith that she has that they will be reunited again some day. That girl is so strong. There was time left in the program
afterward for a few others to come up – both Tyrone and Lindsey shared some
thoughts, as well as Ashley. I
loved what Tyrone had shared about Lexy’s death, “Her body fell, but her spirit
flew.” What a comfort to know that
is true.
Tyrone had invited everyone to bring light sabers
to the funeral and graveside service as a tribute to Lexy’s love of Star
Wars. Their entire family was also
wearing a Star Wars shirt in Lexy’s honor.
We lined both sides of the hearse as it made it’s
way out of the church parking lot.
At first it sounded like a strange thing to do, but
it felt right and a was a great way to make the service personal to Lexy. It was also fun to see everyone dueling
as we waited. Sure not incredibly reverent,
but Lexy would have loved it.
We ate lunch with the family back at the church and
then we decided to head up to the canyon to see if we could catch some fall
colors. Brenda recommended we head
up Cottonwood Canyon to Silver Lake.
First, I needed to refuel after being emotional drained.
Apparently we’d just missed the more reds and
oranges of fall, but the yellow was putting on a nice show and the weather was
perfect.
It was an enjoyable afternoon and I’m glad we were
able to spending a few hours outdoors.
We headed straight to Brenda’s new house afterward where she had pizza
and cheesecake for us to enjoy.
The kids loved the sport court in her backyard and played outside until
well past dark. Justin and I took
Katie and Drew back to my Moms for bed and the others got to stay late and
hangout with their cousins playing games.
There was an impressive thunder / lightening storm that night. As a kid I used to sit outside on our
covered porch during storms, wrapped up in a blanket, and deep in thought. I sat outside this evening and felt some
peace as I reflected on the past week.
My Dad’s birthday was September 26, two days after
Lexy’s death and marked 18 years ago that we laid his body to rest. 18 years sounds so long. Oh, how I wish he could have been a
part of these last 18 years of my life.
Lexy was just a baby when my Dad past away. He adored the three grandchildren he had at the time. It was shared that over the years Lexy
has had several priesthood blessings in which it was stated that Lexy and her
Grandpa Hipwell have a very special bond.
Perhaps that gives some comfort that those two weren’t to be separated
for long. My Dad’s sister, my Aunt
Carol, also passed away this same week – September 28. While I certainly feel sadness for my
uncle and her children and grandchildren.
The sadness feels so much different for someone who’s lived a full, rich
life and someone who was just 18 years young. On the way back to Seattle on Sunday we learned that my
Dad’s sister, Cleone suffered a stroke that morning. It sounds like she is doing ok, but goodness what an
emotional week for the Hipwell family.
I’ve kept this picture on my desk since the weekend
she past away. This is me holding
sweet baby Lexy and her big sister Kaitlyn on June 18, 1998. I babysat the girls while my family
went to the Bountiful Temple to see Robyn & Tyler sealed as a couple and to
their son Griffin as well as be there as Raymond received his endowment for the
first time. Just a few days later
we found out my Dad had brain cancer.
Life is so, so precious.
